TikTok users are recently sharing their frustrations about “the most overstimulating part of motherhood,” and for many, the common culprit is their dog. While dogs make wonderful family members, new parents may find their furry friends to be a source of stress during the early stages of parenthood.
The Changing Dynamics at Home
Animal behaviorist Kate Mornement, who has worked with numerous new parents, explains that reduced sleep and increased demands on parents can result in a lower tolerance for everyday issues that would have been minor before the baby arrived. “If barking is waking the baby, that becomes a much bigger issue than when you didn’t have a baby,” Dr. Mornement says.
The Emotional Toll on Parents
Nicole Highet, a psychologist and founder of the Centre of Perinatal Excellence (COPE), points out that the overwhelming demands of parenting can sometimes lead to resentment towards pets, particularly when they fall lower on the priority list. This often causes guilt when parents feel they can’t meet their pet’s needs, such as regular walks. “It causes feelings of stress when you have competing demands you’re not in control of,” she adds.
Understanding the Behavioral Changes in Pets
For pets, especially dogs, their world shifts drastically when a baby enters the home. Dogs, who were once used to being the center of attention, might exhibit signs of anxiety such as clinginess, separation anxiety, or even destructive behavior. “Dogs might follow you around the house, pant a lot, or bark when you’re not home, which can be frustrating when you’re trying to settle a baby,” says Dr. Mornement.
Some dogs may even feel threatened by the new arrival and react with fear or aggression, which can be resolved with professional support if addressed early.
Pets Can Still Be Supportive
Despite the challenges, pets can play a vital role in improving family wellbeing. They encourage outdoor activity, provide companionship, and even help children develop emotionally. “A dog might be the long-term stable support; the thing that is loyal and always there,” says Dr. Highet. Pets also help parents “live in the moment,” offering positive emotional support during stressful times.
When Pet Resentment Leads to Rehoming
In 2024, nine cats and one dog were surrendered to Animal Welfare League Queensland (AWLQ) centers due to the arrival of a new baby. However, Mikaela Thrift, rehoming manager at AWLQ, believes the actual number may be higher as families often feel embarrassed about rehoming a pet due to the new baby.
Thrift encourages parents to seek help before considering rehoming, whether it be through a trainer, veterinarian, or behavioral support. “Rehoming should be a last resort,” she says, adding that pets are usually very adaptable and forgiving, which is why we love them so much.
Preparing Pets for the Baby’s Arrival
Ms. Thrift shared some strategies to help pets adjust before the baby arrives, such as introducing new objects like the crib, setting up baby gates, and allowing pets to familiarize themselves with the baby’s scent by sending home baby clothes from the hospital. She also emphasized the importance of letting pets approach the baby at their own pace and reinforcing calm behavior.
Dealing with the Struggles: Tips for Parents
Whether preparing for or already dealing with pet resentment, Highet suggests dividing responsibilities between partners to reduce the stress of competing demands. “One person could take the dog for an evening walk while the other handles bathtime,” she says. For solo parents, enlisting the help of a friend or family member to help exercise the dog can make a difference.
Dr. Mornement emphasizes the need for consistency and realistic expectations. “There are no quick fixes, but with patience and understanding, both pets and parents can adjust to the new family dynamic.”
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